You may be giving your undivided attention to your partner every time you’re with them, or expressing your profound love for them as often as possible, but are you sure these are the right signals to be using? The truth is, love comes in many forms, and each of us relates to them differently. Enter the love languages.
If you’ve never heard this term before, or you’re looking to understand your partner better and strengthen your relationship, this post will help. Keep reading to find out about the love languages – more specifically, what they are and how you and your partner can use them to communicate love best to one another. One sure way of doing that is by booking a cleaning service with the vetted and brilliant SweepStars from SweepSouth. Nothing says “I love you” more than a spotless home taken care of by an expert.
What Are The Love Languages?
The love languages are a concept introduced by Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. The five love languages are: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Each person has a primary love language that represents the way they feel most loved and appreciated by others. By understanding and speaking each other’s love language, we can improve our romantic relationships (and friendships), and connect with our partners on a deeper level.
Let’s take a look at each love language in greater detail below.
Words Of Affirmation Love Language
The words of affirmation love language refers to the need for verbal appreciation and positive reinforcement in relationships. People with this love language feel loved and valued when their partners use kind words to acknowledge their efforts, express their love and appreciation, or offer compliments. Words of affirmation can be in the form of spoken or written words; even the simplest of words or texts can count.
Here are some examples of words of affirmation you can use to connect with your partner in this way:
- “I love you.”
- “You did a great job.”
- “You look beautiful today.”
- “Thank you for adding value to my life by simply being in it.”
Use these Valentine’s Day messages to share your love and appreciation for your partner on the 14th of February, or any other time during the year.
Acts Of Service Love Language
The acts of service love language refers to acts of kindness that demonstrate love and affection. People who speak this love language feel loved and appreciated when their partner takes care of tasks for them and performs practical acts of service. It is a way for them to show their love through their actions and make their partner’s life easier and more comfortable. This love language is summed up perfectly by this well-known saying – actions speak louder than words.
Here are some examples of acts of service you can perform to connect with your partner in this way:
- Doing household chores.
- Running errands.
- Taking them out for lunch or dinner just because they’d appreciate it.
- Picking up the kids from school to help your partner out.
Receiving Gifts Love Language
The receiving gifts love language is one in which people feel loved and appreciated when their partner gives them gifts, regardless of the size or cost. This love language is about the thought behind the gift and the effort put into finding something special for them. People who have this love language feel valued and loved when their partner takes the time to choose a gift, even if it is a small token, that shows they are thinking of them. As much as it might sound materialistic, it should rather be seen as “visual symbols of love,” as Chapman puts it in his book.
Here are some gifts you can get for your partner to connect with them in this way:
- Buying their favourite snack or sweet treat.
- Putting petrol in their car.
- Flowers or plants are always a favourite.
- Cards with cute or inspiring messages are a great way to combine this love language with words of affirmation.
Use our post on Valentine’s Day gifts to find your partner the perfect gift for the celebration of love, or any other day in the year.
Quality Time Love Language
People with the quality time love language feel loved and appreciated when their partners give them undivided attention and engage in meaningful activities with them. This means putting aside distractions like phones and laptops to focus on each other. Spending quality time together can be as simple as going for a walk or cooking a meal together, as long as it’s done with intention and focused attention. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, do your best to spend quality time with your partner through phone calls, video calls, and even activities done together, but virtually.
Here are some ways you can spend quality time with your partner to connect with them in this way:
- Making it a habit of having a date night or lunch date once a week.
- Doing household chores together.
- Going to the gym or exercising together.
- Playing board games together or just taking time to hang out and relax.
Physical Touch Love Language
Has your partner ever referred to themself as clingy? This might help you better understand why they say that. The physical touch love language involves using physical contact, such as hugs, holding hands, cuddling, and other forms of physical affection, to demonstrate love and build intimacy in a relationship. People who have physical touch as their primary love language place a high value on physical affection and feel most loved when they receive it from their partner.
Here are some ways you can express your love for your partner through physical touch to connect with them in this way:
- Tickling and cuddling them.
- Holding their hand as often as possible, especially when out in public.
- Kissing them hello and goodbye, or just whenever you feel like it.
- Using your hands to comfort or reassure them by placing them on their shoulders and arms when speaking, for example.
A Summary Of The Love Languages
|Love Language||Associated With||How To Communicate/Act|
|Words Of Affirmation||Written and verbal expressions associated with love, appreciation, encouragement, etc.||Send encouraging and loving notes and texts, and communicate in person using words of positivity and affection.|
|Acts Of Service||Selfless acts done for the sole purpose of making a person’s life easier.||From chores to spoils, do as much as you can in your daily life to alleviate your partner’s workload.|
|Receiving Gifts||Tangible objects or tokens to express love and appreciation.||Spoil your partner with gifts as often as you can, even if they are small tokens of appreciation.|
|Quality Time||Moments shared with another where your undivided attention is given.||Set aside as much time in your day as possible, and use it to spend with your partner. The shortest moments can make the world of difference.|
|Physical Touch||Appropriate body language and touch used in a positive and loving way.||Show physical affection whenever and wherever you can, and make intimacy a priority.|
Now that you’re clued up on love languages and how to use them, you can create and nurture relationships, partnerships, and friendships that lead to the lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of. Don’t forget to share these insights and tips with those in your life who could use some quality time brushing up on their knowledge of love languages.